Inside my Mind
by Sakuya Rose
Summary: A story about Isaaru's pilgrimage... What he really thought, and what really happened! ...maybe...
1. Episode I

A lovely Final Fantasy X tale  
  
From Isaaru's point of view!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy X, or any of the characters from it. I don't even want to. Though, I'd love to own Squall from FFVIII...In any case, this one disclaimer shall suffice for the entire story, for writing one for every chapter enrages me greatly. Thank you.  
  
A/N: From what we've seen of Isaaru, especially in FFX-2, he is a psychopath. Therefore, that is how he will be portrayed in this story. He may seem somewhat...more out of character than he should sometimes, though, so if there's any big Isaaru fans out there, I apologize if I have offended you. This inspiration for this story sprouts from an inside joke between a friend of mine and I. Also, this story won't be completely based on what happened in FFX, like it is being portrayed by this chapter. Sure, that's the basic storyline, but I'll be adding a thing or two of my own as well.   
  
Episode I  
  
The Djose Temple looked ugly. That's what first came to my mind as we approached it. What a stupid looking excuse for a temple of Yev-- But suddenly, my thoughts were interrupted by the rock around the temple dispatching itself. It started to float around the temple, electrified. I felt mystified even for an instant.   
  
"What caused that, I wonder?" I asked, looking to my wiser younger brother, Maroda.   
  
"Uh, probably the presence of a summoner." He responded.  
  
Pacce leaped around crazily in excitement, and I felt the need to dispatch one of his legs. Being the kind person I am, however, I did not.  
  
We entered the temple, and I felt a sense of fear. I hated these temples of Yevon. They were always filled with weird people who tell me to trust in Yevon. ...Or, something. I don't remember why I passed my summoner training in the first place...I think they were just in desperate nee of summoners. Either that or they wanted me out of the village. Pfft. But, mwahaha, I brought the Pacce they adore so dearly much to their dismay. He will die on this journey, and I, Isaaru, shall live!  
  
Anyways, we got into the cloister of trials, and the first thing that popped to my mind was, Electricity! Everywhere! Suddenly, that gap people always have in them when they're longing for something more in life was filled! I realized I could accidentally kill Pacce here! I began to whistle, and I pushed Pacce into a nearby wall when Maroda wasn't looking. You see, Maroda is the one who would always solve puzzles and do everything in the cloister. I respected him for that, so I decided I did indeed like him. Pacce, however...  
  
As he hit the electrified wall, he turned to me, unharmed. "What did you do that for, Isaaru?"  
  
"Do what?" Maroda asked, turning.  
  
"Nothing, you silly little boy!" I responded, patting Pacce on the head. I made sure my eyes flashed with compassion towards the little thing I was touching that I despised. Though, when I thought about it, I had no real reason to hate Pacce. Oh well.  
  
I thickened my plot to kill Pacce as Maroda moved swiftly through the trials. It never ceased to amaze me how someone as dumb looking and ugly as Maroda could so easily clear such difficult looking trials. I, being so utterly dashing and handsome in every respect, could never successfully clear any of them! I didn't understand how he could touch those spheres, either. They looked ...firey! They're probably injecting some fatal disease into him as he holds them. Never can you trust something that glows so eerily and brightly!   
  
But, I figured it wouldn't kill him before he did all the trials for me, so I was content. But, I secretly wished Pacce would touch those spheres instead of Maroda.   
  
In any case, by the time we had reached the Chamber of the Fayth, I felt despair at the fact my clever mind hadn't yet conjured up a plan to destroy Pacce.  
  
Then I realized, with greater despair, that I now needed to go pray to the Fayth...thingys. I went in the thing, doorish thing, and sat down, cross legged in front of the Fayth thingy where it appears and you pray. The Fayth appeared, and I jumped like I usually do. Hate it when those stupid little floating hologram type thingys surprised me. It looked down at me and asked what was wrong. I shrugged it off, and starting praying...Fakely, of course. I don't think the Fayth know the difference, since they're too hologramy to actually hear my prayers. While pretending to pray, I decided to try to conjure a different plan to murder Pacce.   
  
After a little bit, the Fayth gave me the aeon, Ixion. I thanked it, bowed and stuff, then ran out to rejoin my brothers.  
  
As Pacce, Maroda and I exited the clositer, I felt an eerie presence. I looked to see a young summoner, and the look of surprise on her face disturbed me greatly. I thought that maybe I should kill her so I can beat Sin, but she looked nice enough. Although, she didn't say anything to me, so I didn't say anything to her, and I walked right past her. Maroda and Pacce stayed behind to talk to them, and I was ticked, so I turned around and kicked Maroda. Maroda yelped, and I simply pointed behind myself, as to blame someone else. Of course there would be a person there. Weird people are everywhere in these temples. To my dismay, all that stood behind me was a very disturbing statue of High Summoner Braska. Maroda looked at me like I was crazy, and I told him there were eerie goings-on, still not wishing to admit the fact I had kicked him.   
  
Anyways, the young summoner did a weird Yevon bow thing to me, and I fought the urge to smack her. Instead, I asked her name. She gave me a weird look, then told me Yuna. Pacce then looked up at me and told me that Yuna had already told me her name. What the heck? I thought, then realized that she had, in fact, been speaking to me earlier, but I hadn't been listening. That's okay, though.   
  
Yuna reached her hand out as if to shake mine, then suddenly, I claimed it was time for us to depart. I also told her that we should race to see who would beat Sin first. Of course, in my mind, I knew she'd never beat me. I am faaaar better than her. I scoffed at her guardians, lost in thought. Yuna tossed me a wondering look, and I shrugged, grabbing Maroda and leaving. Maroda smacked me over the head and reminded me that Pacce was still back there, admiring Summoner Yuna. He told me I should call to him. Reluctantly, and annoyed, I turned around and called, "Pacce! We're leaving!" Pacce spun on his heels and came to join us.   
  
I never did like that little kid. I don't know why Maroda insisted on bringing him along. It's not like this dangerous quest was some brotherly get-together. I smiled to myself in satisfaction though, when I realized Pacce would more than likely be killed in battle.   
  
A/N: Thank you for reading Episode I. I hope you enjoyed it. And please, no flaming if you love Pacce. I don't mind the kid myself, but seriously, Isaaru wanting to kill Pacce just makes sense in my mind! 'Til Episode II.  
  
Fire Illusionist, Chibi Sugar 


	2. Episode II

  
  
Episode II  
  
Exiting the temple was harder than I thought, when my robe got caught on a piece of rock to the side. I casually tried to free it, but to no avail! How could I rip any of my lovely robes?  
  
Maroda noticed this, and turned to me. "What's the problem, Isaaru?"  
  
"Nothing!" I said instantly.  
  
"It doesn't look like nothing..."  
  
"Well...it is, you fool!"   
  
I tugged a bit on my robes, trying to free them from the rock. Maroda rolled his eyes, moved towards me, and with the greatest of ease, freed my robes from the rock. I sighed in relief. How smart I was to conjure such a plan to free my robes.   
  
Meanwhile, Pacce was bouncing forward. I hoped he would go too far ahead and get lost, but Maroda called, "Pacce! Wait for us,"  
  
I felt a twinge of annoyance, but nevertheless, smiled and began down the road with Maroda.  
  
On the way to the Moonflow, I was almost ran over by a chocobo. I glared at it, my death glare, and it sqeaked innocently. That's when I got angry! I shook my fist five times in the chocobo's general direction, and it bounced a bit. I bonded towards the foolish animal, ready to strike it with my staff, when suddenly, it moved out of the way, and I fell into the Moonflow's waters. Maroda looked at me, gave me that look he always did when I did something smart, then offered me a hand.   
  
I smartly declined, realizing I could prove my independence to Maroda by refusing his help, for once. I giggled with glee to myself. How smart could I get?  
  
I walked past Maroda, and towards the chocobo. It looked at me, which enraged me. then, in my rage, a brilliant idea popped into my head. Maybe I could sacrifice Pacce to the chocobo! Then my revenge would...most likely...be complete!   
  
With that, I grabbed Pacce's hand and led him to the chocobo, that was standing there dumbly like it didn't now or ever have a purpose in life.   
  
"Isaaru..? What's going on?" Pacce squeaked annoyingly, and I stood him before the chocobo.   
  
"Pet the chocobo, my dear boy!" I told him.  
  
Pacce shrugged and nodded. "Okay." He reached his hand up and petted the chocobo's yellow feathers. The chocobo made sounds of delight, which I assumed were really sounds out preparation for destruction!!  
  
...But the chocobo never did attack Pacce. It was then I realized chocobos weren't blood-thirsty monsters. I shook my head, sadly, and approached the animal. I reached for it like Pacce had done, and I took a big bite out of my hand. I screamed like a girl, and fell to the ground.  
  
Maroda noticed me, and started over to help, but not before I'd summoned Ixion!   
  
I grinned widely, pointing at Ixion, then to the chocobo.  
  
Ixion gave me a weird look as if I were abnormal for summoning him to attack a chocobo. I smacked him suddenly. I was getting tired of those looks! I didn't need them from my aeons!   
  
Ixion did a motion that resembled a shrug, then readied Aerospark, directing his horn at the chocobo. I smirked.  
  
It was then that Maroda ran in front of Ixion, and I called him to stop the attack. I needed that boy for the trials, afterall.   
  
"What do you think you're doing, Maroda??" I asked, feeling quite outraged.  
  
Maroda rolled his eyes. "I could ask you the same question! Why in Spira are you attacking a chocobo, Isaaru!?"  
  
I suddenly realized I was surrounded by stupid people. How could Maroda not understand my actions after seeing that evil chocobo so mercilessly shove me into the Moonflow's waters?? Maroda may be smart in the trials, but that is certainly all he is good for.   
  
I simply shrugged, not wishing to argue with Maroda, because I didn't want him to feel bad when he lost to me.   
  
So, I dismissed Ixion, he shrugged again and disappeared. By then, the chocobo had run off somewhere...maybe, with any luck, it had accidentally slipped into the Moonflow!   
  
It was then that I saw that chocobo being ridden off by a weird looking girl in green and purple with red hair. I hoped Maroda wouldn't make us talk to her later on.  
  
A/N: There you have it. Yes, the chapters are supposed to be short. I'm not going to be writing his entire pilgrimage...because I don't think my insanity expands so creatively. The next part will most likely be the Al Bhed's Home.  
  
And thank you to my one reviewer, LM11. bows You have my gratitude, and thank you for the encouragement. I don't imagine this fic will fall into the "unfinished fanfiction graveyard" since I'm very much enjoying writing it. 


	3. Episode III

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Episode III  
  
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I was starting to feel annoying as the Al Bhed lead us into the Summoner's Sanctum in "Home". I was more so annoyed by the fact the Al Bhed had named some place they lived Home. They could've made up an interesting name for it, like, "Albhediannessplace" or for an even cooler name, "Shrew". I don't know why, but the word shrew suits the Al Bhed so well. I am so smart. They could've asked me for suggestions if they couldn't figure out a name for Home. But, whatever. Because "Shrew" is a better name than "Home", that is what I will call it.  
  
So, anyway, we got to the Summoner's Sanctum, which was ugly. There were no couches to sit on, or anything at all! What were we supposed to do for entertainment? Summon aeons and attack each other?  
  
That suggestion was looking really good at the moment.  
  
But, suddenly, my thoughts were interrupted by some literally crazy summoner who dressed really disgustingly. She told me her name was Dona, and starting bragging about how great a summoner she was.  
  
I smacked my forehead, then her own, and said, "If you're so great, why did the Shrews catch you?"  
  
She gave me a look. "...Shrews?"  
  
"Yes, Shrews, you stupid lady. Who doesn't know what those are?"  
  
It was then that Maroda approached and explained to Dona.  
  
"Isaaru likes to call the Al Bhed "Shrews". We have no idea why."  
  
"How do shrews have anything to do with the Al Bhed?" She asked me.  
  
I rolled my eyes. It was then I was thinking too hard and accidentally summoned Valefor. I felt good about it though, because then I could ask him a question.  
  
"Valefor. What IS a Vale for anyway? What purpose does it hold?"  
  
It was then that Valefor spoke to my soul. He told me, "Bleeeee...leeeeh, da bleeeee."  
  
I smiled. Just the answer I was looking for.  
  
Suddenly, some ugly kid in overalls burst into the sanctum.  
  
"Where's Yuna!?" He squealed.  
  
I winced, knowing I'd heard that name somewhere before...And the sound of his voice also annoyed me.  
  
It was then that a very cool looking guy in red said, "She's not here."  
  
It was also then that I spotted a Shrew in orange and green. I was instantly reminded of a carrot, but I realized she was an upside down carrot. They approached, and I saw Carrot Girl's eyes. I was instantly perturbed. Her eyes twirled...and were green. I wondered how she did that.  
  
It was then that (A/N: Yes, I am purposely saying that over and over, because Isaaru is an idiot. ) Dona stepped up, realizing that cool man in red had said her line. I liked that man.  
  
Then the team stood around in a circle. I couldn't quite hear what they were saying, but I knew they were exchanging jokes because of the dramatic motions they took.  
  
First, Carrot Girl said someting to Ugly overalls kid. They kept talking for too long, then Ugly overalls kid said something to a weird looking chick with long hair, red eyes, and...belts on her dress. She told him something, and shook her head. Also, another guy in weird clothes, I call him Flippy Hair Monkey, said something. Then Ugly overalls kid fell to the ground and pounded it...or something. I secretly hoped he was having a seizure.  
  
Uh, they said more things, then UO Kid ran to MY Valefor, and started pounding his chest. I ran over, and smacked the kid over the head with my staff. I smiled down at him, though he was unconscious. I was glad.  
  
It was then that Carrot Girl looked slightly annoyed. Belt Dress Woman looked startled, but cool man in red looked as if nothing had happened. I liked him.  
  
It was then that I ran away, because Belt Woman looked like she knew black magic. I'm so smart. I always find the way out of every tough situation!  
  
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A/N: Well, there's Ep III for ya. I hope you enjoyed, and please review! 


	4. Episode IV

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Episode IV

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As I paced the airship, I purposely tried to point fiends in the direction of Ugly overalls kid. I knew that I'd told him I'd take care of this area, and that's exactly what Maroda thought I was doing. Haha, sometimes he can be so dumb and I can be so smart. I thought about many things as I paced... like where I was, and what Maroda'd gotten me into. Home being attacked in the first place had been shocking! Not that I trusted Yevon wouldn't do something like that, but I felt shocked for some reason.

I reached some stairs and opened a door at the bottom, only to be horrified to find a million shrews all squished together in the small space. I closed the door before it had fully opened and leaned against it to catch my breath. That was a close one. If there's one thing I've learned in my travels, it's that I'm probably allergic to shrews, and it's not just because they're weird-- actually, it probably is. Maroda just fails to understand such.

And then there's Pacce... that horribly annoying little brat. I still hadn't thought of a way to get rid of him, but I was sure that my extremely clever mind would think of something in the near future. Speaking of Pacce, the devil's child ran past me at that moment, and without thinking, I reached for him and lifted him into the air violently.

"I...saaru?" He questioned, a pathetic look overtaking his ugly face.

It was then that Maroda walked past, too. I lifted Pacce higher into the air in a compassionate gesture, and plastered a twisted smile, which I did not mean to turn out twisted, on my face. Luckily, all this happened before Maroda noticed I was holding Pacce. I felt glad that Maroda was so stupid and I was so smart, for the millionth time in my life. I put the vile creature down quickly, and turned to Maroda, remembering about my job of patrolling the certain hallway on the ship. I cursed mentally, and took off up the stairs before Maroda could say anything.

Leaning against the wall near Ugly overalls kid, who was killing all the fiends for me still, I decided to contemplate life. There were so many things I failed to understand about it, and the one thing that stood out the most for me was the reason for Pacce's birth. Why did my mother feel the intense need to have a third child? Wasn't Maroda's annoyance enough? Or perhaps they wished to try for another brilliant child such as myself. The answer, I'm sure, I will never find.

Suddenly, as I thought about such important things, a fiend attacked me! I glanced in Ugly overalls kid's direction to notice him fighting another fiend. I sighed heavily, and summoned Bahamut. Yawning, I pointed to Bahamut, then to the fiend. Bahamut gave me a "look". I hated it soo much when my aeons did that! Were they all on crack? You'd think one of those retarded temples of Yevon would give me one crackless aeon. Thank you for nothing, fayth.

In any case, Bahamut looked to me for orders. I sighed heavilly, again, and said with a pained voice, "Figure it out your fricking self!" And with that, Bahamut cast Life on the fiend. I sat down to watch the heated battle. Life missed, and I wonder why. Now that I think of it, I'm not sure what that magic does. Next, the fiend charged at Bahamut and forcefully grabbed 200 HP out of his hands! I screamed in outrage. Bahamut gave me the "look" again, and I glared him daggers.

"Look at me like that again and you'll wish you never left the fayth!" I shouted.

Bahamut shrugged and cast Nul-All on the fiend. I sat back, satisfied. That was a winner, I was sure of it. It looked like those glowing balls floating around the fiend would slowly whisk away it's HP. But, it sure was taking it's sweet time. With the next strike, the fiend caused Bahamut to errupt in glowing pyreflies and vanish. I rolled my eyes. Even with all his winning attacks, I suppose nothing can match my own skill.

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A/N: Ah, it's been a while! But, I just gained some random inspiration to update this story. I have to say, I really enjoy it, all in all. It's probably one of my favourite stories because it's so crackish. This chapter was short, and it may or may not be the last, so I hope you liked it. ;D Reviews are awesome. 


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